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第27章 甜蜜芬芳的愛情 (11)

字體:16+-

I walk out here on an afternoon and hear the notes of the thrush that comes up from a sheltered valley below, welcome in the spring; but they do not melt my heart as they used; it is growing cold and dead. As you say, it will one day be colder. God forgive what I have written above; I did not intend it; but you were once my little all, and I cannot bear the thought of having lost you forever, I fear through my own fault. Has any one called? Do not send any letters that come. I should like you and your mother(if agreeable) to go and see Mr. Kean in Othello and Miss Stephens in Love in a Village. If you will, I will write to Mr. T to send you tickets, has Mr. P called? l think I must send to him for the picture to kiss and talk to. Kiss me, my best beloved. Ah! If you can never be mine, still let me be your proud and happy slave.

William Hazlitt

Mar. 21st, 1803

親愛的薩拉:

你會因這封信姍姍來遲而責怪我,問我是否是為了恪守我搞好工作的諾言。其實,說真的,一半是想你,但同時我也不能忽視工作。我一般每天寫十頁稿子,這樣一個星期可以掙三十畿尼。因此,你可以看到,照這樣下去,我將變得富有。如果有你伴我左右,用甜蜜的微笑鼓勵我,與我共擔憂愁,共享喜悅,我便能夠堅持下去。伯維克號帆船一星期開兩趟,風緩緩地吹著。當我想起我們千百次地彼此愛撫,我毫不奇怪自己會如此依戀你,但可惜我無力更好地取悅你。聽見風歎息著穿過窗欞,我不禁反複吟誦拜倫勳爵悲劇中的兩行詩——

“於是你將看見我常伴你左右,

今生今世,也許直至地老天荒。”

由此我聯想到你,我的愛人,想到不知能否再與你相見。也許見不到——至少幾年不見,直至你我都日益衰老。到那時,所有的人都舍你而去時,我會爬到你的身旁,在你的懷中死去。