嘉麗·霍華德/Carrie Howard
When I was a little girl, my mother sat on the edge of my bed every night and sang me to sleep in her soft alto voice She sang lullabies and old folk songs, soothing melodies that eased me from wakefulness into slumber. Those peaceful few minutes at the end of the day are among my sweetest childhood memories.
I remember watching my mother and thinking how beautiful she was, with the light from the hall illuminating the curve of her cheek and glowing like a halo in her wavy hair. I wished the moment would never end, but no song lasts forever. I promised myself that when I had a daughter I would sing to her as long as she wanted.
I never forgot that promise. When my husband and I brought our long-awaited baby daughter, Tessa, home from China at the age of eleven months, I was ready. On our first night together at home, I held her across my lap in our big oak rocking chair and sang the familiar lullabies I had waited so long to sing:“Rock-a-Bye, Baby”“Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”and“Hush, Little Baby”I sang all seven verses of“Hush, Little Baby”which I had painstakingly memorized in preparation for the occasion.
When I had finished singing. Tessa wasn't quite asleep, but she looked drowsy. I rose and headed toward the crib to lay her down, but she immediately sat up and started to fuss. Okay, I thought, she needs a little more time, So I sat back down and sang the lullabies again, waiting for her eyes to close. They didn't. I sang my songs one more time, throwing in“The Alphabet Song”for good measure, until finally she seemed to be asleep. I laid her in the crib and turned to leave. Then I hit a squeaky floorboard. Tessa's little head popped up, and she began to wail.
When I had vowed that my child would get as many bedtime songs as she wanted, I hadn't counted on this particular child's determination. Perhaps, having waited so long for a family of her own.she didn't want to let me go that easily. And I couldn't bear to allow a child who had so recently left the orphanage to cry herself to sleep.