佚名/Anonymous
Gillian says,“Three months ago I started working as an office manager for a PR company and my confdence has just disappeared. I've always wanted to move up the career ladder—but now I'm on the next step, I worry I can't live up to the role. My previous job was as an offce administrator and I was there for four years. I knew everyone really well and there was always a colleague to chat to. I also didn't have to push myself too hard. But I always wanted a bigger challenge. I was really excited to get a more senior position, but now my nervousness is holding me back, and I know I need to get over it. My new job involves organizing the running of the offce and on my frst day in a meeting, I felt I wasn't making myself understood. I know there's a lot to learn but every night since, my mind has reeled with things I might have done wrong. The other day, I transferred a call to the wrong person. All day I expected to be given the sack. I worrywhat people think of me even though, logically, I know they're busy and I'm the last person on their mind. I worry that people think I can't cope with responsibility. It's strange as I'm confdent in other areas of my life. I'm in a steady relationship and I have a busy social life.”
David Wood is a life coach and entrepreneur. The expert says,“Firstly, Gillian should be congratulated for stepping out of her comfort zone. Many people who aren't forced to push themselves in their current position wouldn't even take a new job—they'd have stayed where it was safe—so she's really demonstrated courage here. However, Gillian seems to have a deep belief that goes something like，‘I'm useless, worthless, and any second they'll fnd out!’Even though her brain knows this is not true, as is the case with many people, she's fnding it diffcult to suppress those negative feelings. To boost confidence when your mind is bursting with things you might have done wrong, try writing down a list of everything you've done right. Often, people around you don't comment on the good things you do, but do remark on mistakes made. So, writing a list will help you put things into perspective. Also, ask for feedback so you can hear how you're really coming across, rather than letting your fears overrun the reality of the situation. If your boss is too busy to give you feedback, find a mentor at work who you can confide in and lean on for support, and who'll be honest with you. Also, the next time you start beating yourself up over failures, try this：stop and take notice of the fear building within you, accept it, and then make a conscious decision not to let it determine your decisions. For example, if you fnd yourself afraid to ask your boss how the report you did was, take notice of the fear, then tell your fear‘Thanks for the input’，and choose how you want to respond to it. Keep practicing this and you'll find yourselfmore in charge of your actions and feelings, and your confdence will grow.”