Since the day he became a part of me， I have tried to prepare us both for this separation. Right or wrong， almost everything I' ve ever done has been wrapped up in readying him to be without me， and now I' m scared to death. Now I can only trust his future to the past， but that look had to be a good sign. I' ve told him that I love him every day， two， three or 12 times a day， for 14 years now. He usually says it back. It' s become a habit. May it last. May it protect him when I can' t.
I' ll risk having my son roll his eyes at me， and I' ll tell him again and again： Talk to me， I' m here for you. Trust me， I' ll help you. I' ll always listen. You can tell me anything.
And a thousand times a day I' ll say "I love you". Sometimes he' ll say it back. But even when he doesn' t， I' ll hear it anyway.
我的兒子在慢慢長大，我感到害怕，更確切地說是恐懼。美色、駕車、酒精和毒品，我該如何使他免受這些事物的影響？
在他小的時候，我就是那種凡事都要過問的母親。就算是一些看起來無關緊要的經驗，隻要我認為它會影響孩子的成長，即便我又苦又累時，我也會向孩子闡述明白。“我這樣做是為將來打算。”我會這樣告訴自己和那些不理解我的人。如今，我非常希望我的感覺是正確的。
我對他的影響作用日趨減少，因為他更多的是和他的同齡人在一起，更容易受他們的影響。我擔心我的作用會被那些著裝前衛的男孩女孩所取代。可我還是堅持把基本的道理告訴他，即便他當時不願意聽，並且，對於一些棘手的問題，我總是正麵提出來。我堅定我的理念。在他性格定型時期，我要求他全心全意聽我的，或許這種不屈不撓的一貫立場會幫助我們倆。
不管怎麽說，我知道還沒有徹底失去他。因為那天，我送他去學校，當他下車時，他看我的眼神告訴了我這一切。