It has been my finding that actually the opposite is true. I believe that happiness is a stimulus and response is what life brings to those who are truly happy. When we are happy, we tend to have more success in our work. When we are happy, people want to be around us and enjoy loving relationships. When we are happy, we more naturally take better care of our bodies and enjoy good health. Happiness is not a response—rather, it is a stimulus.
Happiness is a conscious choice we make every day of our lives. For unknown reasons to me, many choose to be miserable, frustrated and angry most of the time. Happiness is not something that happens to us after we get something we want—we usually get things we want after we choose to be happy.
很多人都找到了令自己快樂的源泉——有些人全身心地投入工作;很多人吸毒和酗酒;還有數不清的人,從擁有名貴汽車、異國情調的度假小屋和其他一些流行“玩具”中尋找到了快樂。他們的努力大多基於一個共同的事實:人們在尋找永恒的快樂源泉。
但我認為,很多人與快樂無緣。因為他們錯誤地理解了尋找快樂的過程。
現在,有些人認為名貴汽車、高薪工作和愛情都是刺激物,而快樂就是刺激的結果。這種想法讓我們覺得:“當我擁有……時,我才會快樂。”
但我發現,事實恰好相反。我相信快樂也是一種刺激物,而它作為刺激的結果,是生活給那些真正快樂的人的饋贈。我們快樂時,就會在工作上取得更多的成功;我們快樂時,就會有融洽的人際關係,也會得到愛情垂青;我們快樂時,很自然地就會善待自己,關注自身健康。快樂並不是刺激的結果,而是一種刺激物。
快樂是我們每天在生活中作出的有意識的選擇。不知為何,我認為,許多人多數時候都選擇讓自己痛苦、沮喪和惱怒。快樂並不是得到自己想要的東西之後的感覺——我們往往是在選擇快樂之後,才會得到自己想要的東西。