Chinese culture has a strong sense of hierarchy.In the organizations or in the families,people who ignore the differences of hierarchy will be regarded as being impolite.In Chinese mind,the traditional concepts of monarchs and officials,father and son or other concepts are still deeply rooted.Father has absolute authority of his son,and the teachers also have absolute authority of students.Family background still plays an important part in people’s lives.In such Chinese families,the elders help the young parents to look after the children.The children grow up to assist their parents to support the elders.The family members help each other.They keep interdependent and closer family relationship.In Occident,Britain and a few other countries have a hereditary aristocracy and a rigid hereditary system.While most Occidental,particularly the Americans,are advocating the concept of equality.In the United States,very few people would be proud of their glorious family background or feel ashamed of themselves for being born in a poor family,because they know that they would be successful through their own effort.There is a popular saying: “If working hard,even a cow boy can be president.” There is no different hierarchy in an American family: members respect each other; parents and children can address each other’s names directly.The concept of the family is rather weak and the members are not usually willing to make too many sacrifices for the family.
The following are some detailed etiquette differences in China and Occident:
■Treating Praise
The attitudes which Chinese and Occidental treat praise are different.Though being happy very much,Chinese always give courteous denying to others’ praise,in order to show modesty: “Still not all right!”,“So-so!”,“Can’t compare with you!”,“I’m flattered!”... Occidental attitude towards praise may be “very joyful” and say “Thank you!”
■Entertaining Guests
Chinese are always used to thinking about from others standpoint when Chinese get along with people,which shows on receiving guests or being a guest.Guests always try not to put the host in trouble; therefore guests always decline the host’s hospitality politely.For instance,the host asks what guests prefer to drink,guests will generally say “I am not thirsty” or “Don’t bother”; when the host pours the wine for guests,guests always decline,say “It is enough,it is enough!” In fact,guests may want to drink,but just stand on ceremony.Therefore,the competent host will not ask directly what guests need,but try to figure out guests’ demand,and offer content actively.Hospitable host always urges the guests to eat more dishes and drink more spirit ceaselessly at dining table.Therefore,the atmosphere of Chinese entertaining guests is often very warm: host urges ceaselessly,guests decline ceaselessly.